Friday, August 17, 2012

Spokane, Washington

The Celebrate What Matters tour is officially up and running, and my second date is here!  Today, I am in Spokane, Washington busy preparing myself to share God's message with thousands of wonderful women, while reveling in the presence of God.

Deep down, I always knew that He would be there, but it's crazy how the enemy will attack before your breakthrough. Boy, did he attack.

All through rehearsals last week, I would stand in the rafters or sit at the foot of the stage, watching all my teammates and friends and girlfriends in Women of Faith. And as I watched, feeling the power of their ministry and seeing the comfort that comes with 10, 20 or even 30 years of experience ministering on the road, all I could think was: "I can't do this."

The enemy told me I wasn't in their league, that I couldn't follow up. The enemy told me I'd walked into a setup, that this was like everything else in my life. I thought this was going to be a win for me, but instead, the enemy told me I was about to be defeated.

Even though I knew that I was there on God's assignment, even though I knew He was there with me, I began to panic. And the more I watched and waited, the worse it got. Every day it got a little bit tougher. Then, just hours before our first show, I lost it.

It was during our lunch break when I started to feel like I was in trouble. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with doubt and fear and loneliness. I felt the brokenness that had accumulated in me; I felt it powerfully. And I was supposed to go out on stage in a matter of hours.

Suddenly, into my dressing room (and to my rescue) came Sheila Walsh and Sandi Patty and my spiritual advisor, Cathy Moffitt. And they were all praying over me. They reminded me that I was on an assignment from God, that He would be with me throughout this whole process. They lifted me up in a way that I will remember forever, and suddenly I found myself going out on stage to minister. 

After an incredible two days of hugs, love, and prayer in Oklahoma City, I got this text from Angie Smith:

Reading Angie's message, I realized that this past weekend in Oklahoma City was a setup. But it wasn't the enemy doing the setting up. It was God showing me what we have to go through to do His work, how deeply we have to commit to what He's planned for us. I know and feel that commitment now, and not even Satan himself can defeat me because of it.

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